


Not Even One

by alllove



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 21:06:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alllove/pseuds/alllove
Summary: Reader gets nightmares and Spencer is there to comfort her
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Kudos: 22





	Not Even One

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys this is super short and basically just fluff ish but anyway enjoy :)

You turned on your side again. You looked at the clock. 4:32am. You had to get up for work in two hours. You tuned again, this time to face the ceiling. You stared at the darkness for a few minutes before turning again, this time to face your boyfriend. 

He looked so peaceful when he slept, which wasn’t often. In your line of work, sleep wasn’t always easy to come by. Sleeping on a plane was uncomfortable. Nightmares kept all of you awake. Spencer had a few nightmares from time to time but they’d decreased drastically when the two of you got together. 

***

You remember sharing a room with him one night on a case in Alabama. They’d given you only one bed instead of two because you and your team had taken the last of the vacancies at the hotel and that was all they had. 

You both slept far away from each other. You were friends but it was awkward to be touching when you weren’t romantically involved. You remember being unable to sleep and then suddenly hearing panting. 

You’d turned to check on Spencer and that’s when you saw him sitting up in the bed, trying to wipe the sweat off of himself. You remember him trying to play it off as no big deal. 

It was hard for you to sleep knowing your friend couldn’t. You remember sitting up next to him after a while, rubbing his back as he tried to breathe. 

That was the night you had cuddled for the first time. Spencer had fallen asleep, crying into your chest, finding comfort in your being. When you awoke that morning, you were tangled together. 

***

You stared at him for a few minutes, just watching his chest rise and fall, his curls moving ever so slightly with every breath. 

You brushed the curl out of his face as he started to stir. 

“Hmm,” Spencer groaned. 

“Sorry,” you whispered. 

“Mmm that’s okay,” he said, still barely conscious. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” he said, kissing your head. 

You looked at him as he fell back asleep before turning to the other side again. You tossed and turned again and again until it was finally time to wake up for work. 

***

You got up to get ready for work, taking a cold shower to wake you up after a night of no sleep. You got dress and put on a pot of coffee. 

“Hey, you’re dressed already?” Spencer asked, sitting up. 

“Oh, yeah,” you laughed. “Got up early today.”

Spencer looked at you and you walked over to him. He took your hands in his and rubbed circle on the back of them. “Good morning,” he said. 

“Morning sleepyhead,” you said, leaning down to kiss him. 

He smiled at you giddily. “Okay, I’m gonna go shower,” Spencer said, getting out of bed. 

“Wait,” you said, pulling him back to you. 

“Oh?”

You placed your hands on his bare chest, tracing him with your fingers. Your eyes drifted back up to his as he looked in yours. 

“Kiss me,” you whispered, moving one hand to the nape of his neck. 

“I have morning breath,” he laughed. 

“I don’t care,” you said. You pressed your lips to his, moving your hands up his neck and into his hair. You tugged at his soft curls, pulling him into a more passionate kiss. 

You pulled away from him and smiled. 

“Is there a reason you’re being like this?”

“Is that a complaint doctor?”

“Never,” he said, kissing you again. “It just seems… different.”

“No reason, I just love you,” you said. You kissed him one more time before heading back to the kitchen. 

When Spencer came out of the shower, he popped his head into the kitchen. 

“You got coffee?” He asked. 

“Always,” you said. 

“Oh, I love you,” Spencer said. 

“Enough to come here?” You asked. 

Spencer walked up to you; towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was still slightly dripping. 

“You are…,” you started, eyeing him up and down. “The sexiest person I have ever laid eyes on.”

You kissed him, placing your hands on his chest. It felt comfortably warm after a shower. 

“What is with you today?” He asked. “It’s been like 20 minutes and you’ve tried to get into my pants twice.”

“I told you, I just love you,” you said. 

Spencer squinted his eyes at you and licked his lips. 

“I don’t believe you,” he said. 

“What?”

“No, I mean, I know you love me but I don’t think that’s why you’re being like this.”

“Okay 187. What do you think it is?” You asked. 

He looked at you for a second. “Did you sleep last night?”

“What? Of course I did,” you said. 

“Really? Because when I woke up it was 4:44am and then 6:30am, and you were ready. At 6:30am. You take 20 minutes to shower, 30 if you wash your hair, which you did. 6:00am. Your hair takes 10 minutes, makeup another 10, 5:40am. 5 minutes to change, another 15 for coffee, 5:00am. And if I know you as well as I know I do… you didn’t sleep for the last 15 minutes because you were crying,” he said. 

“That’s not true,’ you said, a crack in your voice. 

“You have streaks running down your face that you tried to cover up,” he said, pointing to your cheeks. 

“You’re being ridiculous Spencer. I took a shower okay? Maybe the streaks on my face are from water. Maybe I randomly woke up at 4:30am. Maybe I wanted to be ready early so I could make breakfast for you,” you said, pushing past him. 

He grabbed your arm and you turned back to face him. You stared each other down. 

“What?” You said firmly. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said. 

“Nothing is wrong Spencer. I just told you,” you said, yanking your arm away from him. “We’re gonna be late for work, hurry up.”

You walked into the bedroom to grab your things. Spencer walked in two minutes later. 

“We’re not going,” he said. 

“What?”

“We’re not going to work today. I called Hotch and said you’re not feeling well.”

“Why would you do that? What if we have a case? You can’t just decide things like that Spencer!”

“If we have a case, we’ll go, but we’re not leaving until you talk to me,” he said. 

“What part of ‘there’s nothing to talk about’ do you not understand?” You said loudly. 

Again you tried to push past him, needing to be in a different room than him. 

He grabbed both your arms this time, making it nearly impossible for you to move away from him. 

“What do you want?” You yelled, trying to fight his grip. “Do you want me to tell you that I didn’t sleep?” You said, panting. “Huh? Do you want me to tell you that I haven’t slept in four days because every time I close my eyes, I see bodies? Do you want me to tell you that I can’t sleep in the same bed as you without wondering if you’re still gonna be there the next night?”

“What does that mean?” He whispered. 

“It means I’m terrified Spencer! It means I wake up sweating every night because of what we do! Ad I love that we help people, I do, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world but… god sometimes it scared me to death. The lives lost, the children, the parents, and you? The thought of losing you haunts me, Spencer, every single night.” You started to cry, unable to control your emotions anymore. 

You saw Spencer breaking at the look on your face. He pulled you into his still bare chest, stroking your hair as you sobbed. He kissed the top of your head and held you as you cried. 

Only when you’d run out of tears, did he let go. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. 

“Hey, no, shh, don’t be sorry,” he said. 

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not, Spence. You were just trying to help,” you said. 

He pursed his lips and looked at you. 

“I’m gonna put on some clothes; you’re gonna change out of those. I’m gonna make some tea, and you’re gonna sit on the couch. Okay?”

You nodded your head, biting your lip as you sniffled. 

He grabbed himself some pants and a t-shirt, quickly slipping them on as he tossed you a pair of his pants and a sweater. 

“What’s the sweater for?” You asked. 

“You always get cold after you cry,” Spencer said, talking back toward you. 

You looked at him again, blinking back the tears forming. 

You quickly slipped into the clothes as Spencer prepped the tea. 

Once you were both on the couch, Spencer pulled you into him. 

“I’m never gonna leave you, you know,” he said quietly. 

“You don’t know that,” you whispered. 

“Okay, fine, that’s true. But we can’t control those things. We have to live our lives and when the time comes, we’ll deal with it.”

You pressed your back into his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders. You placed a hand on his arm, stroking it with your thumb. 

“They’re always staring at me,” you whispered. 

“Who?”

“The bodies,” you said. “They’re always just staring at me. Their eyes follow me. It’s like they’re taunting me for not saving them.”

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault. We do our best to stop these killers but sometimes we can’t save everyone. And yeah, that sucks, but it’s the truth. You can’t blame yourself for that,” he said. 

You sat against him, still stroking his arm. Occasionally you’d move to drink some tea to warm you up. Spencer was right, you were cold after crying. 

It was probably sometime in the afternoon now, you guessed. Spencer didn’t say anything about it though, he just stayed with you. 

“Hey, you wanna try taking a nap?” He asked. 

“I can’t,” you said. 

“Yes, you can. Just close your eyes,” he said reassuringly. 

You tried to close them before they shot back open. “I can’t, Spence, I can’t,” you said, your breathing heavier now. 

“Hey, I’m right here. You can do this. No one is gonna hurt you. It wasn’t your fault. Just close your eyes,” he said softly. 

Again, you tried to close your eyes, actually managing to keep them shut for a couple seconds before they shot open again. 

You took a shaky breath. “I can’t,” you breathed, turning to look up at him. 

“Do you trust me?” He asked. 

You nodded. 

You sat up as Spencer held your hand. 

“I want you to close your eyes. Anytime you see something that scares you, squeeze my hand okay?”

“Okay,” you whimpered. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he said. 

You turned to face forward and closed your eyes. You saw a body. Squeeze. Another. Squeeze. And another. Squeeze. Then, they stopped. They all disappeared. 

You opened your eyes and looked at Spencer again. 

“Better?” He whispered. 

“Yeah,” you replied. 

“Wanna take a nap? You could probably use the sleep,” he said. 

“I don’t know,” you said. 

“That’s okay. We can just sit here.”

You gave him a small smile before putting your head on his chest, his arms wrapped around you. 

***

Later that night, as you climbed into bed, Spencer looked at you. 

“You gonna sleep tonight?” He asked. 

“Fingers crossed,” you said. 

Spencer wrapped your body in his own, holding you close. He didn’t dare close his eyes until he knew you’d fallen asleep. 

He could feel you gripping him harder sometimes but you never woke up. 

He didn’t get any sleep that night. He wanted to make sure you wouldn’t need him for anything. 

When the morning came around, you turned to face him. 

“Hi,” you whispered. 

“Hi,” he said. “Sleep okay?”

“It’s… better. I’m getting there. You?” You replied. 

“Perfect night,” he said. 

“You didn’t sleep did you?”

“No. How’d you know?”

“Because I know you,” you said, kissing him. 

He smiled as he kissed you back. 

***

That night, the two of you went to bed again and you squeezed his arm a little less. 

The next night was even less. 

And you kept going, until one night, you didn’t need to. 

***

“Morning beautiful,” Spencer said. 

“Morning handsome,” you laughed. 

“Any nightmares?” He asked. 

“Not even one,” you whispered, pulling him in for a kiss. 

***


End file.
